Category: Relationship

An example of how Relationships can fall apart

When people do not get the Help they need!

Michelle Carter to appeal conviction in boyfriend’s suicide by Greg Hanlon – People – Thursday, August 31, 2017

Michelle Carter, the Massachusetts woman convicted of involuntary manslaughter for urging her boyfriend to kill himself in a series of texts and phone conversations in 2014, on Wednesday filed a notice of appeal, according to court documents obtained by PEOPLE.
Carter was sentenced in early August to serve 15 months in jail, but Massachusetts judge Lawrence Moniz stayed the sentence pending her potential appeal. After her sentencing, Carter’s attorney, Joseph Cataldo, said she would appeal and that that process “could take months, years.”
It was not immediately clear what part of her case Carter will contest, the conviction or her sentence. Her attorney did not immediately return a call seeking comment.
Carter was 17 when she urged Conrad Roy III, 18, to kill himself — even as the young man, who had battled depression, told her at the very end that he wanted to abandon his suicide plan.
On July 13, 2014, authorities found Roy’s body in his pickup truck, in a parking lot where, the night before, he had attached a hose to a portable generator to fill the cab with the carbon monoxide that killed him.
Carter and Roy met several years before his suicide while on separate vacations to Florida; Carter was the granddaughter of a Roy family friend. Though they lived about an hour apart in Massachusetts — Roy in Fairhaven and Carter in Plainville — the two stayed in touch through calls, emails and texts, Roy’s family and friends have said.
Following Roy’s suicide, investigators discovered a series of text messages — eventually more than 1,000, according to prosecutors — sent in the week prior to his death and exchanged between him and Carter, who said that she was his girlfriend.
Among those were messages from her that stated: “You always say you’re gonna do it, but you never do. I just want to make sure tonight is the real thing,” “You just have to do it” and “It’s painless and quick.”
Police also found Carter’s subsequent written admission to a friend in which she recalled a phone call with Roy, who had exited his truck as it filled with toxic fumes. He told her that he was scared and didn’t want to abandon his family.
“Get back in,” Carter said she told him.
Cataldo previously told PEOPLE that Roy had tried to talk Roy out of suicide — and that Roy had tried to get Carter to kill herself with him. At sentencing, Cataldo said Carter had been diagnosed with depressive disorder, adding that she “very much regrets” her actions.
Carter was sentenced to two-and-a-half years, but all but 15 months of that sentence were suspended. She had faced up to 20 years after being charged as a youthful offender, which under state law allowed her to be sentenced the same as an adult although she was a minor at the time of her crime.
As part of the sentence, Judge Moniz ruled that Carter could not make any money in connection with her case, saying that “part of the motivation for [the crime] … was a sense of self-aggrandizement. This court now orders that you are not to profit from the events of which you now stand convicted.”
Legal experts have told PEOPLE they believe Carter will ultimately serve jail time.
Conrad’s mother, Lynn Roy, has filed a wrongful death suit seeking $4.2 million in lost future wages, according to the Associated Press.
“I don’t believe she has a conscience,” Lynn told CBS of Carter. “The fact that she would say to him, ‘Your family will get over you.’ How is that even — I will never get over him.”

No Comments Categories: Relationship

Children learn by example

Children learn by example

 

Children are open vessels. They learn in many ways including by watching the actions of others, especially their parents or care givers. What you say, how you speak to others, how you treat other people, if you are kind, happy, gracious, giving, loving or angry, mean, sad, violent, or abusive, your children will see these actions and take it in as their own. It will show up in how they deal with people in their lives and sets them up for how they react in their future relationships.

We went to an Appalachian fair last night. Way too many children were pushing their way around on the lines to the rides. As I observed the parents gave no mind or correction to these children for pushing other children out of their way to get to the front to the line. One lady in charge of the ride sent 2 children to the end of the line for pushing. The parents of those two children then came over and were harassing the lady over sending their children to the end of the line. When she explained why and that they were pushing other children the parents had no concern whatsoever for what their children did to anyone else. They blamed the other children for letting themselves get pushed. The operator decided to ban those two children from the ride for the safety of all involved.  She was the only ride operator out of all the rides that night that made safety first a priority.

I have witnessed the same aggressive behavior in children at Walmart, the Zoo, the local park, and Chuck E.  Cheese to name a few. It appears to be an ongoing issue the question being where does it stem from and how to change the outcome before it gets out of control.

As with all things that effect children, it starts at home with the parents.

In the next post, I will discuss how this sort of behavior can lead to trouble for the children later in life:

Aggression in the Home and How It Affects Children

Relationships the good and the bad!

relationship issues

When it comes to relationships, we have all experienced the good and the bad at some point in our lives. Some of us seem to attract the wrong type like a moth to a flame.

I have had a rush of clients the past 6 months all with severe emotionally draining relationships, wives and husbands fighting over trivial issues. When people nitpick at the little things, it’s really covering up larger issues. After all, nitpicking over trivial matters, emotionally, is a lot easier for people to deal with than the bigger, underlying issues. The most common “big issue” I see in my practice is a lack of trust, which is mainly due to the baggage we each bring to relationships. This is mainly because our baggage affects how we relate to others, which blocks us from opening up ourselves in relationships.

For example, I had a client (Susan—name altered to ensure anonymity), who was married for 3 years. As far as she knew, everything was going along fine with her husband.  They just had a baby boy who was 9 months old and had some health issues, so it was putting a little bit of stress on their relationship. Even with all the stress, she still thought her relationship was fine. That all changed when her husband suddenly hit her with divorce papers and walked out of her and her son life with no explanation. After speaking with her, she told me her husband’s parents were overprotective and never taught him how to do anything: cook, clean, take care of himself, what she considered to be normal life functions that her parents taught here from a very young age, so when he did things wrong according to her she had to teach him the correct way to function and relearn things according to her ways. Part of that was belittling him and a lot of screaming for what she felt was his lack of effort to do things the right way.

As we went deeper into her childhood, many issues came out to explain her behavior. Her mother would berate the children daily for every wrong thing they did and most other things right or wrong. According to Susan her mother was building character in them. Everyday things from showers, to clothing, the way they ate, their posture were all subjected to her ridicule and verbal abuse. Needless to say the mother was overbearing and controlling, her father was distant, drank a lot and did not show the children any love.

After speaking with Susan for 3 weeks she had come to realize she turned into her mother and was treating her husband the same way she was treated as a child. For 3 years, she verbally abused and manipulated her husband all based on how she was raised as a child.

This is but one example of how our past and childhood experiences shape our relationships, good or bad!

 

I am working on finishing my new book on relationships, It will be the definitive guide to relationships for all.

Facebook
error: Content is protected !!