Author: drjohnoconnorphd@gmail.com

Looking for 1000 people to answer 3 questions for reseach

Looking for 1000 or more people both male and female to answer the following 3 questions for research for my new book.

3 question for research

1-Please describe your earliest memory of being afraid or scared? Do you still experience these feelings today?

2-What is the biggest challenge in your relationship right now, please describe why you think it’s your biggest challenge?

3-If the last 5 relationships you have had were all in one room, please describe what they would all say about you? Is there any reoccurring issue they would all say?

Please reply with your answer to emotionalgenesis@gmail.com

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School shootings and bullying

I will be adding more content on this post in the following days regarding the roll the schools and teachers play from actual interviews and data collected from clients and students.

Authorities say a shooter killed one student and wounded three others at the high school Wednesday morning. The wounded students are all expected to survive.

Authorities say the 15-year-old suspect in a deadly shooting at a Washington state high school brought two guns from home and had suicidal thoughts.

Court documents released Thursday say Caleb Sharpe told police he had been picked on by the student who was killed but didn’t target him specifically. He told officers he wanted to teach “everyone a lesson about what happens when you bully others.” The documents say Sharpe had been in the care of a school counselor for suicidal thoughts and left a suicide note at his home.

 

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An example of how Relationships can fall apart

When people do not get the Help they need!

Michelle Carter to appeal conviction in boyfriend’s suicide by Greg Hanlon – People – Thursday, August 31, 2017

Michelle Carter, the Massachusetts woman convicted of involuntary manslaughter for urging her boyfriend to kill himself in a series of texts and phone conversations in 2014, on Wednesday filed a notice of appeal, according to court documents obtained by PEOPLE.
Carter was sentenced in early August to serve 15 months in jail, but Massachusetts judge Lawrence Moniz stayed the sentence pending her potential appeal. After her sentencing, Carter’s attorney, Joseph Cataldo, said she would appeal and that that process “could take months, years.”
It was not immediately clear what part of her case Carter will contest, the conviction or her sentence. Her attorney did not immediately return a call seeking comment.
Carter was 17 when she urged Conrad Roy III, 18, to kill himself — even as the young man, who had battled depression, told her at the very end that he wanted to abandon his suicide plan.
On July 13, 2014, authorities found Roy’s body in his pickup truck, in a parking lot where, the night before, he had attached a hose to a portable generator to fill the cab with the carbon monoxide that killed him.
Carter and Roy met several years before his suicide while on separate vacations to Florida; Carter was the granddaughter of a Roy family friend. Though they lived about an hour apart in Massachusetts — Roy in Fairhaven and Carter in Plainville — the two stayed in touch through calls, emails and texts, Roy’s family and friends have said.
Following Roy’s suicide, investigators discovered a series of text messages — eventually more than 1,000, according to prosecutors — sent in the week prior to his death and exchanged between him and Carter, who said that she was his girlfriend.
Among those were messages from her that stated: “You always say you’re gonna do it, but you never do. I just want to make sure tonight is the real thing,” “You just have to do it” and “It’s painless and quick.”
Police also found Carter’s subsequent written admission to a friend in which she recalled a phone call with Roy, who had exited his truck as it filled with toxic fumes. He told her that he was scared and didn’t want to abandon his family.
“Get back in,” Carter said she told him.
Cataldo previously told PEOPLE that Roy had tried to talk Roy out of suicide — and that Roy had tried to get Carter to kill herself with him. At sentencing, Cataldo said Carter had been diagnosed with depressive disorder, adding that she “very much regrets” her actions.
Carter was sentenced to two-and-a-half years, but all but 15 months of that sentence were suspended. She had faced up to 20 years after being charged as a youthful offender, which under state law allowed her to be sentenced the same as an adult although she was a minor at the time of her crime.
As part of the sentence, Judge Moniz ruled that Carter could not make any money in connection with her case, saying that “part of the motivation for [the crime] … was a sense of self-aggrandizement. This court now orders that you are not to profit from the events of which you now stand convicted.”
Legal experts have told PEOPLE they believe Carter will ultimately serve jail time.
Conrad’s mother, Lynn Roy, has filed a wrongful death suit seeking $4.2 million in lost future wages, according to the Associated Press.
“I don’t believe she has a conscience,” Lynn told CBS of Carter. “The fact that she would say to him, ‘Your family will get over you.’ How is that even — I will never get over him.”

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Children learn by example

Children learn by example

 

Children are open vessels. They learn in many ways including by watching the actions of others, especially their parents or care givers. What you say, how you speak to others, how you treat other people, if you are kind, happy, gracious, giving, loving or angry, mean, sad, violent, or abusive, your children will see these actions and take it in as their own. It will show up in how they deal with people in their lives and sets them up for how they react in their future relationships.

We went to an Appalachian fair last night. Way too many children were pushing their way around on the lines to the rides. As I observed the parents gave no mind or correction to these children for pushing other children out of their way to get to the front to the line. One lady in charge of the ride sent 2 children to the end of the line for pushing. The parents of those two children then came over and were harassing the lady over sending their children to the end of the line. When she explained why and that they were pushing other children the parents had no concern whatsoever for what their children did to anyone else. They blamed the other children for letting themselves get pushed. The operator decided to ban those two children from the ride for the safety of all involved.  She was the only ride operator out of all the rides that night that made safety first a priority.

I have witnessed the same aggressive behavior in children at Walmart, the Zoo, the local park, and Chuck E.  Cheese to name a few. It appears to be an ongoing issue the question being where does it stem from and how to change the outcome before it gets out of control.

As with all things that effect children, it starts at home with the parents.

In the next post, I will discuss how this sort of behavior can lead to trouble for the children later in life:

Aggression in the Home and How It Affects Children

Relationships the good and the bad!

relationship issues

When it comes to relationships, we have all experienced the good and the bad at some point in our lives. Some of us seem to attract the wrong type like a moth to a flame.

I have had a rush of clients the past 6 months all with severe emotionally draining relationships, wives and husbands fighting over trivial issues. When people nitpick at the little things, it’s really covering up larger issues. After all, nitpicking over trivial matters, emotionally, is a lot easier for people to deal with than the bigger, underlying issues. The most common “big issue” I see in my practice is a lack of trust, which is mainly due to the baggage we each bring to relationships. This is mainly because our baggage affects how we relate to others, which blocks us from opening up ourselves in relationships.

For example, I had a client (Susan—name altered to ensure anonymity), who was married for 3 years. As far as she knew, everything was going along fine with her husband.  They just had a baby boy who was 9 months old and had some health issues, so it was putting a little bit of stress on their relationship. Even with all the stress, she still thought her relationship was fine. That all changed when her husband suddenly hit her with divorce papers and walked out of her and her son life with no explanation. After speaking with her, she told me her husband’s parents were overprotective and never taught him how to do anything: cook, clean, take care of himself, what she considered to be normal life functions that her parents taught here from a very young age, so when he did things wrong according to her she had to teach him the correct way to function and relearn things according to her ways. Part of that was belittling him and a lot of screaming for what she felt was his lack of effort to do things the right way.

As we went deeper into her childhood, many issues came out to explain her behavior. Her mother would berate the children daily for every wrong thing they did and most other things right or wrong. According to Susan her mother was building character in them. Everyday things from showers, to clothing, the way they ate, their posture were all subjected to her ridicule and verbal abuse. Needless to say the mother was overbearing and controlling, her father was distant, drank a lot and did not show the children any love.

After speaking with Susan for 3 weeks she had come to realize she turned into her mother and was treating her husband the same way she was treated as a child. For 3 years, she verbally abused and manipulated her husband all based on how she was raised as a child.

This is but one example of how our past and childhood experiences shape our relationships, good or bad!

 

I am working on finishing my new book on relationships, It will be the definitive guide to relationships for all.

Are you missing out, unhappy, frustrated?

Do you or your employees need guidance to put their lives back in order? Individuals, companies, couples, Check out my site and contact me. We offer worldwide service to individuals and companies.

There too many things in this life that are out of our control that cause stress in our daily lives, hit trigger points from out past, create situations in our lives because of the negative life events that overwhelm them. In order to not be effected by outside forces we have to reduce our own issues.
https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/167285

or email me

drjohnoconnorphd@gmail.com to set up an appointment to speak.

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Do you need Guidance?

Anxiety, sadness, stress, lack of energy, unhappy, hard to get out of bed in the morning, hard to get your day started, listless, reoccurring dreams from childhood, or any emotional issue from your past.
are you experiencing any of these or maybe most? They are a sign you need to find guidance in your life to heal the wounds that still effect you daily life.
All of out emotional issues do not just go away with time, they build up in side of us and come out in other ways. The past issues and pain you have gone through does not just vanish, holding it inside of you will eventually lead to an negative emotional eruption at the wrong time and with the wrong people. Don’t be that person!

Make a change for the better

Contact me and lets talk about how we can put you on a better path

Rev Dr John O’Connor PhD

 

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Up and coming Holidays and Emotional Distractions

The holidays always bring a mixed bag of emotions for most people . If your childhood had difficulties in it, they carry over into adult life, showing up as anxiety attacks, sadness, depression, being closed off emotionally, problems relating to others, difficulty in social situations, and trust issues. With the right guidance and help, all these and more can be worked out. Why let your emotions control you?

We all experience life in a different way. No one, even brothers and sisters, react the same way or have the same emotional issues. The holidays seem to bring out all the issues we have tried to suppress all year long. With the emotions that come up during the holidays, our issues surface in our dreams, waking hours, day dreams, and visualizations, causing us to react and take in a lifetime’s worth of issues that have not been resolved.

So try and take a step back. Don’t let the holidays get you all wound up emotionally, and if it gets to be too much, seek help and guidance. Let this year be the year you really enjoy your holidays.

I have a new program we are working on to provide guidance for anyone one who needs it, whether its during the holidays, or any other time of the year. For those who cannot meet in person, we offer telephone sessions.

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What the right Guidance will do for self esteem

This is a facebook post from someone I have worked with about her relationships and issues

 

I don’t really brag about myself or anything like that a lot…. But I want to put this into perspective for some people…. My entire life I’ve been self conscious about myself…. My weight my looks the list goes on…. I have always been afraid to put myself out there to either try and make friends or just about anything else…. Half of you on my friends list I have met through other people….. I’m a person terrified of doing something wrong…. But that’s not me anymore…. Anyway the point to this post is to inform everyone of my transformation…. A lot of my closer friends know I have bad anxiety these days…. And yes it sucks….. But I’m working with it… Also I have been getting compliments on how great I look and honestly I haven’t really gotten comments like that…. People who know me know I haven’t been the skinniest and I have been a smidge overweight for my body type…. I should exercise yes but I just never do…. But since everything in my life has been happening in such a blur I have dropped weight like no tomorrow…. But honestly the weight that I have dropped has made me feel really good about myself… I feel more confident as my weight was a huge part of my issue…. But I will have everyone know that I used to be a size 11 jeans and since April of this year I have dropped enough weight to fit back into my favorite size 7 jeans!…. Also I really want to thank a lot of people who have been helping me through a super tough time… Also rekindled friendships with Aleah and also my amazingly supportive boyfriend Chris thank you guys for being here for me… And my newly acquired big brother type Chris I have no clue what I would do without you guys in my life!!! I also want to give the biggest thanks to my mom Candice and her fiance Aaron you both are awesome and have been a couple of my biggest supporters….. I love you ALL so much and thank you for helping me through this difficult time I have been in…also a special thank you to John OConnor for helping guide me to see my self worth… I’m sorry this post is so long but I want everyone to know that I’m making it through my tough time in need and I have amazing people who love me and care…. And I’m glad to have them in my life as I achieve more happiness and reach my life goals! I love you guys and thank you for being here for me!

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